The Weekly Epistle 7/28/21

EBC Family,
It’s no secret of my love for coffee, and for good coffee.  I have been called a “coffee snob” because of my preference for only certain coffee.  So, when I read about a South Carolina funeral home that opened a coffee café right in the funeral home, it caught my attention.  It has a fireplace, a TV, a free Wi-Fi connection, and it was stocked with Starbucks coffee.
 
When the funeral home first opened this coffee café inside the funeral home, a local paper ran a contest asking people to submit a name for this novel café.  Some of the entrees were;
  “The Grim Roaster”
  “The Last Cup”
  “De-Coffinated”
  “Perkatory”
  “Wake up and smell the coffee”
  “Bean nice knowing you”
  “See Ya Latte”
 
Those should make you groan.  Oh!  The winning name was, “Time to meet your mocha.”  I know, this is all in bad taste (pun intended).  The name of this café aside, why open a coffee shop in a funeral home?  The director of the funeral home said that it was intended to help mourners “get their minds off what’s going on.”
 
That may be well intended, but at this stage of grief, shouldn’t the mourners begin the process of grief by “facing what is going on”?  Grief and loss are best experienced through acknowledgement rather than denial.  
 
Loss is a part of life.  It can come in many forms.  It can be a loss of a marriage.  Or a loss of a pet.  Or a loss of a significance because you no longer have that job you were good at.  It can be a loss of a dream or a ministry you once were very involved in.  There have been losses due to Covid this past year.  When you become empty nesters that is a loss.  Or when someone moves away.  What of value has been taken from you?  That is a loss.  
 
I share this not only because I have shared in three funerals over the last two months and one of those was with a good friend of mine whose wife passed away, but there was another loss I have been in denial about.  Some of you know, my older daughter and son-in-law who lived half a mile up the street from us, moved to Virginia and they took our two grandkids with them!  I am still working through this one!  A good friend of mine recently asked me (half-jokingly), “Have you forgiven them yet?”  That question hit me hard.  It was a rebuke, as I spoke of this past Sunday in the sermon.  
 
I also share this because our tendency in dealing with the losses of life is to do whatever we can to get our minds off what’s going on.  We call it “moving on.”  And moving on we must do at some point.  Just don’t do that too quickly.  Don’t try to shortcut the process of grief.  Face the loss.  Be honest about the pain associated with that loss.  And express those feelings to a trusted friend or counselor or write it down in a letter to God.  
 
Our God will meet you in your grief.  Remember these words of lament from the prophet Jeremiah, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23).
 
Blessings to you, Pastor Brian